Where should I rest my heart?

O, Lord, how long will it continue? If the pain goes on, I'm not gonna make it.

A father, who beats me up and humiliates me since I was three, for me being who I am.
A mother, who just watch, and won't save me.
I don't believe in my parents.

Moving around, to north, south, east and west.
Separated from brothers across the Pacific.
I don't have a home.

Do they even mind a little about the children?
Their suffering from repeated separation and loss since the childhood?
All they care about is making more and more money.
I don't believe in corporations.

I pledged allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
Yet, the seal of His Majesty the Emperor was stamped onto my passport,
and that was, and still is, the only passport I have.
I don't belong to a nation.

What about a girl? Let's try some loving with a lovely girl.
But, no. She will ditch you instantly and break your heart,
for you are no good to her.
It is so painful to let it go, so it is better not to have it in the first place.
I don't believe in my girl.

What do I want, you ask?
I just want to have a peace of my mind.
I'm too scared and lonely to live by myself.

I can get tortured and humiliated the next moment,
for being who I am, and nobody will protect me, but my God.

I just want to be loved for being who I am.
I want to feel safe and secure.

Whenever I feel that I finally got it, it will slip off my hand,
and go far far away, never to be seen again.

Why do I suffer so much?
What did I do wrong to deserve all this pain?

Help me my Lord.
Please hear my cry.

I believe in God.
I believe in His love.